Wandering Eyes
by Martica Narcassa
Summary: Grell's reflection upon a very big mistake. Will he be able to get the love of his life back? WilliamXGrell. Yaoi obviously. No likely don't read it.


**Mmmkay so this is my first fan fiction in years so please be nice…other notes**

**1). I apologize to all of the Sebastian fans…I made him sort of dick in this fic…**

**2). I haven't seen season 2 yet or read the manga so…if Ronald is OOC sorry…**

**3). Grell might be OOC to but eh…we can blame that on the wine ^_^**

**4). I've never written anything for this pairing so ah…yeah**

**5). I ship many pairings so if you ever see that I've written something else don't flame it thankies**

**I obviously do not own Black Butler in any way shape or form…but if I did there would be so much yaoi…omg so much yaoi!**

**Enjoy ^_^**

Wandering Eye – A GrellXWilliam fan fiction

~Grell's POV~

I came home from work depressed. Seeing Will was still hard, it had only been a few weeks since we broke up. I knew it was my fault, it was all my fault and I accepted that. I didn't like it but blaming anyone else would be lying. If I was a lair or wanted to take the blame off myself I could blame Sebastian. He had toyed with me but then again it had been my decision to play along…Why did I do it? I was such a fool! My heart broken twice and I had nothing to show for it. What was a girl to do?

I suppose a little red wine and a long bubble bath wouldn't hurt…on second thought two bottles and some music. Tomorrow or the day after I'd put on my face and pretend everything was alright but for now I was going to mope and drink and remind myself how I got here. Woe is me I thought uncorking the first bottle and slipping into the tub. I looked at the bottle. Red really was the perfect color roses, lipstick, clothes, hair and wine. And to whoever made wine I thank you.

I took a big gulp before blowing at some bubbles. Beginning this tale of sorrow and regret I must introduce the characters. The first is William T Spears, grim reaper, my lover of many years as well as my boss; the second was Sebastian Michealis, demon, butler whom I had affectionately called Bassy and finally me Grell Sutcliff, grim reaper and the unfortunate owner of two wandering eyes.

Now William and I had been in a hush-hush relationship for many years, and for many reasons, generally things in our relationship were good. We had enough things in common to have some common ground but enough differences to keep things interesting. Normally we would have dinner, some conversation and we'd make love. On paper I really had nothing to complain about he was good looking, had a great job, treated me better than anyone ever had (and I had had my string of awful relationships) and accepted me for well…me…he had never once asked me to change anything about myself.

However things were not as they appeared. No one is perfect. William had three major flaws. The first was that he was a workaholic. He was almost always working, thinking about work or talking about work! He had a tendency to leave early and come home late. Then when he did get home he was in no mood to talk and would fall asleep quickly. I began to feel quite bored and lonely, and girls tend to do bad things when they get bored and lonely.

His second major flaw was in the bedroom…he was rather boring, this wasn't to say that he wasn't good in bed or not well endowed. He always satisfied and he was well endowed to say the least. He was just boring. I wanted to experiment try new things like new positions, roleplaying, different locations, skimpy outfits and ménage trois and he didn't go for any of it. It had been a battle getting him to try oral sex getting and receiving. I was satisfied but sometimes you just want to try something new.

The last problem was a bit of dual problem. William wasn't exactly he most expressive person on the planet…It was hard to tell how he was feeling most of the time and typically you had to guess. It made a lot of things difficult…especially sex. He rarely looked passionate. Luckily he did believe that actions spoke louder than words. He was no stranger to gift giving. Though William didn't show much emotion he did show one quite well…Jealousy. Considering I had a habit of looking at all the eye candy in London…he showed it often.

Despite Williams flaws I still loved him. There was no other person in the world that I could love as much as him.

With all this in mind the story comes together. As I said before no one is perfect. With William being busy all the time I got quite tired of being alone so I started to go out more often and take more work. During this time I met a woman known as Madame Red. She had just finished killing a prostitute and I was there to harvest the soul and look over the cinematic record. Somehow she told me her story and we formed a partnership. I began to pose as he butler and in this time I met Sebastian.

He caught my attention immediately. He was tall, handsome, talented, his voice was to die for, he was strong and mysterious. I wanted him. William did find out about my partnership with the Madame and I was punished for it…but after that he went back to work as usual. I thought that maybe if I continued to chase to Sebastian William would get jealous and that it might cure some of my loneliness. Sebastian turned out to be as manipulative and ruthless as you would expect a demon to be. He would hurt my self-confidence and push me away but offered enough hope and kindness to get me to keep trying.

Soon it turned from wanting to make William jealous to just wanting Sebastian. Finally after months of trying I got him. I had to wear this odd cat costume to do it but we ended up sleeping together. William somehow found out and dumped me. I had to pack up all my things. Later I went to talk to Sebastian. He laughed in my face and told me things like "It was a one time thing" and "why would I settle for you?" He tossed the costume at me and then slammed the door in my face. I went home miserable and broken hearted.

I realized how foolish I was…I could see why reapers loathed demons. They made promises they had no intention of keeping. I had thrown away everything I had with William…I should have just talked to him we could have worked things out. I down the last bit of the first bottle. Now it was far too late to go fixing things. I suppose it was karma. I uncorked my second bottle. I'd been eyeing men long before Sebastian came along, though that was just looking I had no intention of doing anything with those men.

Sometimes William's jealousy was sexy. Ou and the angry sex and his "proving I'm better than any of those men" sex was fantastic 3!" I had goose bumps just thinking about it!

Then my heart sank…that would never happen again…he wouldn't give me a second chance, not when he had his pick of reapers. I felt some tears building and I drank more wine. While William had his pick I doubted my ability to find a relationship I was the queen of the one night stands but an actual relationship? Not if when I fell asleep there was someone in my bed but in the morning there was no one. Once I had woken up and William wasn't in my bed so I had thought he'd left me…he was actually in the kitchen making breakfast. I was full of insecurities. You wouldn't know that just by looking at me though.

I sighed and drank more wine. I knew I was going to be very hung over tomorrow but that didn't stop me. I didn't want to go into work tomorrow anyways. Maybe I'd use a vacation day, I had plenty of them. I drank the rest of my second bottle while thinking of my fond memories of William. It was emotional suicide but it would be best if I got it all out of my system now. I must have looked like an absolute wreck. Drunk, crying, make up probably running down my face, and of course I was sobbing by this point. I was relieved that no one was here to see this.

After my second bottle was gone and the bath water was cold and bubble-less I drained the water and attempted to get out. I stumbled a little but I managed to get out and sit on my toilet. I dried myself off and got dressed ok before stumbling to my bed. I looked at the pillow next to mine. I got in bed and hugged it, it still smelled like William. We had never officially moved into together. We both liked having our own places and he was still hesitant to come out and I respected that. We visited each other's apartments frequently enough to where it became necessary to leave toiletries and clothes at the other's place.

I fell asleep hugging the pillow. In the morning my head was killing me. I'd rather be cut in half by my own scythe then deal with this hang over. Of course with my luck it didn't get any better. I heard someone burst in my living room.

"Grell-sempai! I brought coffee!" Ronald yelled excitedly from my door. Upon not hearing me call back as well as not seeing me up and moving around he started to look for me. Every step he took felt like he was stepping on my skull! Finally he decided to come check the bedroom.

I probably still looked awful from last night, plus just waking up…I buried my head in a pillow sandwich to drown out him and hide my face. He flung open my door.

"Grell-sempai what are you still doing in bed?"

"Grell-sempai has a hangover now get out!" I yelled before throwing an extra pillow at him. I was no stranger to drinking, wine was great with dinner and as a pick me up after a long day but normally I stopped myself long before it became a hangover. Most people knew this about me. So my having a hangover was odd to Ronald.

"Is something wrong sempai?" He asked softly. I groaned and sat up taking one of the coffees.

"Don't worry about it." I drank some.

"If it has you this upset then it must be important to you. You can tell me." He took a drink of his coffee.

"Do you really want to know?" He nodded.

"Did you know that William and I were together?" He nodded. I wonder how he found that out… "Did you know that we broke up recently?" He nodded again. "Do you know why we broke up?"

"no." He replied before taking a drink of his coffee.

"I cheated on him." I drank some coffee.

"With who?" He asked. I groaned. Apparently he really wanted to know.

"A demon named Sebastian Michealis." He grimaced at demon.

"a demon?" he asked almost disgusted.

"Yes a demon." I glared he looked down and drank quietly. "And yes I realized how stupid it was." I sighed it felt rather pointless to tell Ronald all of this. It got quiet for a bit.

"Do you still want to get back together with William?" He asked breaking the silence.

"Actually yes I do…but the odds of us getting back together are slim very slim." I frowned and took another drink.

"Have you tried to talk to him?" I looked down. It had been painful just to see William and I knew he was upset with me still…so talking to him was impossible.

"no not yet, besides I wouldn't do any good."

"Would you cheat on him again if you got back together?" He was nosy.

"Anyone ever tell you that you're nosy?"

"Yeah…now answer the question."

"No I wouldn't." He smiled a little.

"Then you should go talk to him." Maybe he was right. We might not get back together but at least we would have some closure and maybe at least try to be friends…or not ignore each other at work. He got up.

"but you better hurry sempai before he gets offers." He was right if I did truly want him back than I had small window of opportunity before he would realize how much better he could do than me! I was going to miss my window! I set my coffee down and jumped up. I got to work making myself fabulous. A quick shower, a change of clothes, through hair brushing and some make up. Prefect. Ronald smiled at me.

"Glad to see you back to yourself Grell-sempai"

"I never did ask…why did you come here?"

"You seemed sad and so I was hoping to come cheer you up."

"well it worked thank you dearie!" I gave him a quick hug before racing off to the office. Immediately I went to William's office and walked in. When I stepped I saw him smiling at the office assistant. I clenched my fist as he turned his attention towards me.

"Grell what are you…" Before he could finish his sentence I marched over to his desk, grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him into the deepest, longest and most passionate kiss I had ever given. I pulled away.

"I'm so sorry William! I messed up big time…and I swear on my life that I'll never do it again! Please go back out with me?" I pleaded. He took a moment to adjust himself and glare. He motioned for the now blushing office assistant to leave. She scurried away.

"Really Grell you think it is that easy for me to forgive you?" I looked down…I guess I had finally made to great a mistake. I had gotten so excited that this would work and the idea of getting back together shattered instantly. I walked to the door sulking.

"I suppose that I might be able to forgive you and trust you again…"

"really William?" I smiled and held my hand together excitedly.

"If you passed a probationary period" He was giving me a second chance! I was so happy!

"Anything!" I ran over and sat on his lap nuzzling him. I kissed him again.

"Do you swear that you will never cheat again."

"I swear! Oh thank you William."

"If you hurt me again Sutcliff you will regret it."

"You don't have to worry about that." He put his arm around me and I smiled up at him. I did have one question. "So…what was going on with you and that assistant? You never smile like that…"

"She came in to ask for a vacation because she was going on her honeymoon. I was congratulating her on getting married."

"oh…" I felt stupid…He sighed.

"Sometimes you can be such a hot head Grell."

"That actually worked out better…my original idea was just to come in and start talking."

"Yes this plan did work out much better." He kissed me and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Sorry for um…pushing you out of the closet." He sighed again.

"It was bound to happen eventually. Make it worth my wile Sutcliff."

"of course." I smirked.


End file.
